Q.  Social justice and activism are a part of my DNA.  When I saw medical schools staging a 15½-minute “die in” for Eric Garner and Michael Brown, I realized that the only sector not protesting is business.  I accept that business is a conservative—stay out of the news—culture, but frankly I want to do something.  If I protest will I hurt my career?

A.  I commend you for being concerned about social movements that are important to you. The recent high-profile events have raised this question for many, but in fact each person must always consider the appropriate actions to take that fit his or her moral compass. Since our country’s founding, people have had to make difficult choices about how to express views on issues they feel passionately about.  Only you can judge how best to act given your own circumstances. but you have lots of channels for your activism.

Consider the following:

• Are you familiar with the organizations your firm supports?  It’s possible that directly or indirectly your business supports agencies or causes related to social justice or  anti-violence groups.  So you may not be standing 
• Will protesting “hurt” your career?  I suspect that you already know the answer.  But you can act—can you find ways to express yourself that safeguard your career and are consistent with your firm’s culture?
• What is appropriate way for you to be involved on social media:  Use your own name? An alias? [Note: Don’t use your business time or your company email to advance social causes or conduct personal business.]
• Are you utilizing your network of friends?  How do they feel? Are they “protesting” and if so how/when?  And, do they report any blowback to their work/career?
• Is this issue important to the communities your business serves?   If yes, is there a conversation or project that you would like to propose at work? What are the benefits to you? To your firm?

Remember you have an opportunity to mobilize—that is inform, educate and express your activism—in your existing network.  Change almost always begins close to home.  Be the change you want to see in the world.

Q.  As far as I am concerned, December is finished and I am not motivated to start anything new. Truth be told:  I am mentally exhausted.  Is it OK to coast until the end of the month and begin 2015 with a bang?

A.  Thanks for your candid comment.  You are not alone.  Many of my clients are reporting the same sentiment:  Whew! The rhythm of our personal and professional lives gets off kilter as our thoughts about year-end begin when jingle bells and wreaths are hung before Halloween.  The traditional five weeks beginning after Thanksgiving has doubled to almost 10 weeks of “holiday cheer” and yes, it can be exhausting to manage.  To cope with the expectations and your emotions, consider the following:

• Have you fallen into the holiday “hype”?  If yes, be alert, be mindful and follow your our schedule and plan, not the one on TV.
• How will coasting until December effect on your integrity and standard of excellence?
• When you say you are “mentally exhausted,” what exactly do you mean?  Are you tired and sleep deprived?  Are you out of ideas?  Or, have you lost interest or focus? Are you depressed?
• What can you do to make the next three weeks valuable and meaningful?

Don’t forget to be kind to yourself and watch your health.  If you are tired—rest!  Don’t try to power through.  Starting 2015 with a bang is the perfect way to set the stage for success.  Align your goals and priorities now and it’s likely that when you put yourself first it will be energizing.

Q.  This is the first holiday season without my mom; now both my parents are gone.  She died in February and my father passed three years ago.  At work, I pretend I have the holiday spirit but inside I feel alone and adrift.  What can I do?

 A.  Remember that a parent’s love lasts forever.  I hope you took time off to grieve in February but, if you are like most working people, you pushed the feelings down and soldiered on. I rarely recommend taking time off, but in this case please plan to take personal time to heal at home, a spa or a favorite place that you shared with your mom (and dad) before February 2015.  And it’s almost always a positive step to write a letter to your mom now to express what’s in your heart.

Regarding work, consider the following questions:

• Are your colleagues aware of the depth of your loss or did you keep it secret?
• What is your personal plan to enjoy the holidays versus suffering through them?  What would your mom or dad advise you to do?
• Have you “pulled back” or out of activities at work? With your spouse/significant other? Or with your friends?  If yes, reconnect and stay connected.
• Are you less productive at work, no longer interested in your work, or easily distracted?  If yes, approach your work in bite-sized pieces and be kind to yourself.

Holidays can be lonely, especially when your parents were the glue for gatherings and the family home was the place to be.  When my parents were admitted to a nursing home I no longer had a place to go; when they passed away I felt like an orphan the first year.  However, I discovered that being alone—orphaned—is a choice that adult people make.  A choice! Give yourself the gift that keeps giving:  choose to reconnect with your circle of friends, family members, and colleagues and choose to honor your mother’s love by being happy.

Q:  I am interviewing for a new opportunity and don’t want to make the same mistakes that I made in my previous firm.  Yes, I will own up that I am a bit bull-headed when it comes to taking advice.  How can I keep from making the same mistakes?

A.    Being aware that you are “bull-headed” and don’t listen to offered advice is an important first step to avoid a mishap.  However, the answer isn’t “listen and follow the advice.” You have years of being told to listen, and you have ignored advice and suffered the consequences.  To set out on a new behavioral path you need to have skin in the game:  a reason to do something different. The choice is up to you.

Consider the following:

• What are the winning traits that you will bring to your new job?  What will you keep in the closet?
• Who will “call you” if you lapse in behavior or hold you accountable?  Colleague? Spouse/Partner? Coach?
• What are the circumstances or “triggers” that bring out the “bull-headed” behavior?  Note:  Keep a log with specific details to increase your understanding of the circumstances so that you can take steps to break the habit.
• Are you just hoping things will be different, or are you willing to change?

Note:  I am not too proud to admit that I can be a jerk at times and when I am it’s up to me to stop being a jerk.  I am not only aware of the path that I am on I know from previous experience the outcome.  To right myself, I turn to Proverbs 16:18:  Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

Q.  My parents live in Liberia and when my colleagues joke about Ebola I don’t speak out–I cringe.  They know I am African but the jokes keep coming.  Should I say something?

A.  Let me preface my answer by hoping that your parents are well and that your homeland will return to health and vibrancy.  Although all the Texans who came in contact with Thomas Duncan were clear of the virus, for several weeks attention was focused on the two nurses who were infected. It’s no laughing matter, but that is not the reason your colleagues are telling jokes.  People react differently to fear; making jokes is literally a way to make light of a situation.

Consider the following:

• What do your colleagues know about your background?  Your heritage?  Note:  have you allowed your colleagues to view you as African without distinguishing that you are Liberian from a specific hometown and region?
• Is the joke aimed at you?
• Is there an opportunity or an opening for a “teachable moment”?  Can you share not only what you feel but also facts about Ebola?

Remember to be gracious and take the high ground.  Don’t close the door by confronting your colleagues—instead, open the door by letting them know that your parents are in Liberia and that they are well.

Q:  When I asked my colleague to cover for me so that I could vote, she just rolled her eyes and said that I should only ask her to cover when it is important.  She is my only backup–what should I do?

A.  You have your priorities straight, good for you. Voting is important. You are not only exercising your expression of freedom and democracy, you are also demonstrating that you are engaged in our democratic process.  You are in the game, not on the sidelines. One way to gauge the importance of your actions is by observing the efforts underway in Hong Kong to secure the right to vote there.

It seems as if your colleague doesn’t know what is important to you.  I wonder, have you had the following conversations with her:

• Does your colleague feel sufficiently “thanked” or acknowledged for being your back up?
• What opportunities have you created to lend your colleague support when it is not a crisis?
• How would you rate the quality of communications with your colleague?  Has there been a recent breakdown in communications?
• Is your work relationship balanced?  Fair?   Reciprocal?
• What is important to your colleague? To you?   Similarities? Differences?

If talking politics at work is taboo in your organization, remember that there is a big difference between talking and voting.  Thanks for recognizing the importance of the midterm elections by voting on Tuesday, November 4, 2014.

A:   My teammates have been planning their costumes for weeks and will celebrate as a group—and not just October 31, but the whole darn weekend! I am not into Halloween—what do I do?

Q:  it seems that each year Halloween becomes a bigger more celebrated event and more difficult to ignore. I have watched the costumed Anime at the Boston Park Plaza and this summer hundreds of garbed and garish folks traipsed through the Boston Prudential Center. I don’t know the occasion but I can tell you that they were all having fun.

Being playful is an important muscle to flex and a good way to break old habits, rigid patterns, and stale beliefs.  No need for your colleagues to think that you are a “stick in the mud” unless you plan to come dressed as one.  Here are a few questions to consider:

• What are the logistics for the weekend?  If there is a not-to-miss event, select that event and attend.
• What will make the Halloween weekend memorable and worthwhile:  Getting to know colleagues better? Having a new experience? Enjoying dinner at trendy restaurant? Visiting colleagues’ homes?
• What is your playful side?  Have your colleagues experienced your playful personality—your business playful, not a “wild, weird or spooky” one.
• Will your costume/mask make someone smile?  Will it make you chuckle?

Note:  My friends and I have a lot of fun on Halloween. Our costume is simple and always catches people off guard.  Have a boo-tiful Halloween!

WHF Class of 1981-82

Question:  Should I apply for the White House Fellowship?  From reading Getting There & Staying There I know that the program was a pivot point in your career.

Answer:   The short answer is “Yes apply, especially if you want to contribute at the federal level and then pay it forward. A curt response will not do justice to the fact that the WHF was the ultimate finishing school for me.  It was a heady experience and I was caught up in my work assignment as Special Assistant to Director William Webster at the FBI, having in-depth conversations with leaders from the public and private sectors and of course meeting with the president.  A whole new world opened as I came to understand and appreciate the intersection of the legislative process, the White house, the Judiciary and the media—the Fourth Estate.

“Fellowship” is the core of the one-year experience. The intensity and uniqueness of our experience forged unshakeable bonds among our fourteen members of my WHF Class.  Every president since Lyndon Johnson launched the WHF in 1964 at the urging of John Gardner has held WHF alumni to the same ideals:

In return for the Fellowship year, President Johnson expected the Fellows to “repay that privilege” when they left by “continuing to work as private citizens on their public agendas.” He hoped that the Fellows would contribute to the nation as future leaders. 

Have I captured your interest, if yes, the WHF application will be available on line November 1 .  Consider the following questions before completing the applications:

• What do you want?
• What discussions do you need to have with your family? Your boss?
• What will be value/benefit of being a WHF?  Note—keep your answer on a high level because you won’t have all of the answers.
• What are your expectations:  Will being a White House Fellow take you to a new level of experience? Mindset?  Connections?  Open new doors?
• What is the impact on your career progression:  Accelerate?  Set back? Don’t know?
• Does your organization support/encourage high potential employees to apply for the WHF?
• Who will you talk to about the WHF experience within your firm?  External?

Finally, the WHF program is aimed at people who have demonstrated remarkable professional achievement early in their career. Do you fit the criteria?  If yes, go for it!

Note:  This year marks the 50^th anniversary of the program. Alumni include historian Doris Kearns, CNN president Tom Johnson, Sanjay Gupta, General Colin Powell, JC Penny president Mike Ullman, Harvard Business School’s Clayton Christensen, Attorney Emma Jordan, author and artist Suzy Becker and of course:  me!

Chips, Priscilla & Paul

Q.  The market tanked and there is no way that I am going to make my numbers.  Falling short means no bonus?  Should I start looking for a new job?

A.  You have my attention—I will start right in with the questions to consider:

• Are you in an “up or out” situation—meet the numbers or hit the street?  I hope not.
• What are the facts:  Did you fall behind in the second quarter and hope for a “Hail Mary” pass in the fourth quarter?    
• Are you the only person in your organization “falling short” or is the whole department down?
• Are you alert to the changes impacting your organization?  Your industry?  Note that the impact is likely to go way beyond quarterly earnings.
• How do you respond to change?  Worry?  Bury your head in the sand?  Anticipate?  Embrace?
• What is the conversation you need to have with your manager today?  What will be different when you complete the conversation?
• What is the worst thing that could happen to you?

If you survived 2008, then you know that the sky isn’t falling. I recommend that you take a deep breath and focus on the facts. Now is the time to be mindful and note the larger context: global unrest and uncertainty is causing instability in the markets at the same time that disintermediation is creating a new competitive landscape. Don’t expect clients or markets to behave predictably.

Remember that the agility and mindfulness you have fostered in “easier” days will serve you well in the difficult months ahead.