Q.  I am not religious at all—still, I am excited about Pope Francis’s visit this week. What can we learn from the Pope’s leadership style?

A.  We can learn a great deal from Pope Francis because he leads by example.  He is authentic.  Taking the name “Francis” and appearing on the balcony of the Vatican wearing a simple cross signaled that this Pope differed from his predecessors.

At the time, the Telegraph reported:

He has stunned Vatican officials in his first few days as Pope, declining the papal limousine in favour of minibuses, addressing cardinals as his “brothers” rather than “my lord cardinals” and paying his own bill at the clerical residence he stayed in before the conclave.

The change was made all the more real when he asked the assembled in Vatican Square and around the world to pray for him. Two values that have created the most profound change in the Church are that the Pope is always inclusive and accessible. Both these traits were evident in a recent Town Hall Meeting that he attended via satellite. There he met a teenaged girl who described the bullying she has experienced because of vitiligo, a condition that creates white blotches on her brown skin.  The Pope did not interact with her “condition;” he spoke to her in English and asked, “Will you sing for me?” 

What can we learn? Consider the following:

• Are you walking the talk?
• What opportunities can you create to include colleagues who are quiet or on the sidelines?
• Do you take the time to listen without judging and assessing?
• Are you willing to give colleagues, friends and family a second chance?
• What is the unique contribution or gift that you have to give?  Who can you invite to “sing for you”?

Q:  I have my clients and the folks I work with have their clients.  I get paid for what I do and the same is true for them.  So, why does our boss expect us to work as a team?

A.  That’s a very reasonable and practical question that I don’t think that I would have been able to address so clearly if I hadn’t seen three bartenders working seamlessly at the Jet Rock Café at Reagan National Airport. Bartenders? Yes, the criteria you listed is similar to the traditional role of the three barkeeps I observed:  Each has an area to tend, they have individual clients to cultivate and based on their individual efforts they earn a tip. However, what surprised me was the following:

• They moved like the corps de ballet.  In the limited space behind the bar, their actions seemed to be orchestrated as they moved around each other with ease.
• The hand-offs between the three women was seamless:  I was greeted by one bar keep who took my order, a different woman quickly brought my drink.  I took notice when—something different is going on here—a third woman delivered my food order.

Now that the three women had my attention I had to strike up a conversation by acknowledging how they were working together.  I asked:  How do you explain the fact that you work together so well?  The first answered:  I have worked here for 6 years and I really enjoy my job and the people who work here.  Another woman answered:  This is my second week on the job and Ann is doing a great job training me.  I am having fun.

My take away:  the three women were focused on teaming to deliver excellent and quick service. Makes sense given that they work at the “Jet Rock Café” and customers like me want our food and drink delivered quickly so that we don’t have to gorge and gulp.

Questions to consider:

• Does your organizations rate 100% in customer service?  Is there is a gap?
• How will your clients/customers benefit if you shift from your individual results and deliver organizational excellence?

Q:   I have been laboring all weekend to make up for my vacation time.  It seems that my life is all work—when I play, I pay now and I pay later.  What am I doing wrong?

A.  I invite you to consider the question you were expected to answer when you returned to school each fall: What did you do on your summer vacation?  I know that you are decades from elementary school and I am aware that for many school begins in August not in September, but don’t let these details divert you from answering the question.  Why?  The answer is simple.  The weight of today’s concerns may obscure or cause you to forget how you spent your time. Begin by considering:

• How do you do rest and restore?
• What do you do to recharge?  Re-energize?  Lift your spirits?
• Consider special occasions:  Birthdays? Fourth of July? Weddings? Family reunions? Music or film festivals?

As you may know from my book Getting There & Staying There, I walk the talk. This is especially true when it comes to vacation. I am pleased to report that I achieved the perfect balance of work and play this year, enjoying many stay-cations. I enjoy all that Boston offers, beginning with July 4^th fireworks spectacular on the CharlesRiver.  I never miss the Landmarks Orchestra Concerts on the Esplanade, especially given my Board role supporting free classical concerts.  My summer is not complete without Commonwealth Shakespeare’s performances on Boston Common, this year (what a tragedy) King Lear.

In August I close up shop, press the pause button, and head to my favorite vacation destination, Oak Bluffs, Martha’s Vineyard. I don’t do anything when I first arrive; I just sit on the porch and look at the water.  It’s easy to recharge because each year Oak Bluff’s assembly of panels, speakers and art events becomes more similar to my experience of Chautauqua.  Here are a few events that I attended on the Vineyard:

• Martha’s Vineyard Book Festival.  Outstanding, especially the panel entitled “Putting Words to Page,” hosted by Tony Horwitz.
• “Changing the Script:  Media, Culture and Black Lives,” a panel discussion that included actor, producer and humanitarian Danny Glover.
• “Black and Blue:  Policing the Color Line,” the annual Harvard Law School Forum founded by Professor Charles Ogletree.
• “Black Millennials:  They Rock, but Can They Rule?” moderated by PBS commentator Charlayne Hunter-Gault and hosted by Harvard Professor Skip Gates
• The Morgan Stanley Literary Brunch

And I scheduled my vacation to end so that I could revel in the antics of star-crossed (and confused) lovers in Commonwealth Shakespeare’s Midsummer Nights Dream with the Landmarks Orchestra.  Life can’t get any better than all of this!

Yes, Labor Day is the unofficial end to summer. However, don’t rush. Your summer will end when you officially pause and reflect.  Answer the question and I bet that you will be re-energized.

It all started with Shanghai’s 8.5% drop

The dramatic selling began overseas. China’s Shanghai Composite plummeted 8.5%, wiping out all of its massive gains so far this year. Not only has an apparent bubble in Chinese equities popped, but the country’s economy may be slowing much faster than feared.

Q:  How can it be?  Summer is almost over. My September is already booked. I’m already feeling the pressure and I’m really “sweating” this one!  How can I reduce the heat?

A:    Wait!  Please don’t get into a sweat about the future and miss the opportunities in front of you today.  Summer is the time to take a break and not be driven by your calendar.  It is easy to get distracted and feel overwhelmed if you feel bound to a schedule or calendar that doesn’t result in a high quality of life.

• Is your vacation scheduled or have you just returned from vacation?
• Do you have one calendar that includes all of your scheduled activities?  Note:  Family and social events should be planned, not squeezed into your schedule.
• Are the activities you have scheduled a break from routine or more of the “same old same old”?

Stop working for your calendar and make your calendar work for you by reviewing each scheduled event and asking:

• Why is this event on my calendar?
• What is the purpose and value of this event?
• What is the benefit or desired outcome of attending and participating?

Be mindful.  Be present. Enjoy. Remember that summer ends September 22—put that in your calendar.

Q:  I said “yes” when my friend invited me to a gala—then she asked me to pay  $350.00 for the ticket!  I was aghast.  I thought that she was inviting me in return for the dinners, NBA games and weekends on the Jersey Shore that she and her husband have attended as my guest.   What now?

A. This is a dicey situation, especially if you have a role in which your friend has come to believe that the tickets you have shared with her are free for you and therefore carry no financial obligation. However, even this thinking would be a stretch if you include spending time with you on the Jersey Shore.  A few questions come to mind:

• How robust is your relationship?  Are you able to say—“I misunderstood …?”
• How have your “guests” demonstrated their appreciation in the past?
• Is the event a fundraiser?  Is your friend a member of the Board?  Development Committee?  If yes, how does this invitation fit with other events? Do you wish to support the organization?

Etiquette experts would disparage inviting anyone to any event that carries a price tag, as your friend has done. But those same experts would encourage you to come up with a gracious response regardless of your friend’s gaffe.

Remember that almost every situation can be resolved with honest and authentic communications, especially in close relationships.  Why not say “WHAAAT—I thought that the ticket was free,” and then free yourself to attend the event or not attend.

Q:  I have good news and not-so-good news:  My boss says that I will have more opportunities if I learn a new product set. The not-so-good part is the timing: My two-week vacation begins next week and I don’t want to use the time to study!  Where do I find the time?

A. I firmly believe that we need vacation time and I have noticed that many of my coaching clients approach their vacation with trepidation. “Who killed summer vacation?” TIME magazine asked on its June cover.  The short answer is, “We did,” collectively, by acquiescing to veiled requests such as “I know you are on vacation but we need you to call in.” The legions of workers tethered (and in some instances addicted) to their smart phones no longer recognize and honor work/personal boundaries.

Now, let me return to your question:  Where do I find time to learn a new product set that is key to my career advancement?  Here are a few questions to consider:

• How will you prioritize?  What products will you learn first?  Note:  Pick the easiest one to learn so that your new knowledge translates to value for your clients and your success will mean time well spent.
• What is the best time of day for you to focus?  Early morning or late night?  Align your energy with the task.  Don’t try to learn new material when you are distracted or tired.

Now, make a plan that begins after you return from vacation. Include specific times to learn the new product set.  OK?   In addition,

• Have you included a “buffer” day between returning from vacation and starting work? Don’t make the mistake of feeling squeezed—and possibility resentful—on your last day of vacation.  Plan ahead and make a leisurely transition.
• First day back at work:  Have you scheduled time to clear your emails?  Connect with manager, colleagues and clients? Block some time out now!

Remember, if you hold fast to the belief that you can turn work off and turn vacation on at will because you are adept at compartmentalizing, remember that recent neurological studies reveal the fallacy of this thinking. Finally, to underscore the reason you should enjoy every moment of your vacation here are five of the ten behaviors TIME magazine identified that you don’t want to exhibit at work:

1. Every little problem is turning into a big issue
2. Your coworkers keep asking if you’re feeling all right
3. You start making mistakes
4. Everything hurts
5. You’re feeling pretty cynical

Enjoy your vacation! 

Q:  Wildfires causing cars to explode on the highway, floods and tornadoes wiping homes and dreams away, and islands sinking beneath the seas. I will not stop watching the news even though many of my friends have.  How can I enjoy summer when so many are suffering catastrophic losses each day?

A.  Thank you for your compassion and integrity.  I share your concern and can appreciate why you are feeling “blue.”  Sometimes when I watch the news I wonder how the rest of the world sees us. I also wonder what has happened to the people and communities no longer in the headlines—for example, over 300 fires  have consumed five million pristine acres of forest in Alaska.

I agree, don’t turn away from the news, but ask yourself the following questions as well:

• Do your summer plans include activities that you absolutely love?  If yes, give yourself permission to enjoy them.
• Are you taking time to clear your mind?   Massage? Meditation? Yoga? Reading a book?  Taking a walk?
• Have you identified a way to channel your concern?  Note: You can go beyond financial contributions and deepen your knowledge about sustainability and climate change, or you may identify a cause you want to become more active in.

Finally, how are the adverse weather conditions impacting your business?

• What is the likely impact on the cost of food this winter?
• How has transportation been effected—time of goods to market?
• What is the likely cost of clean up and rebuilding?
• What jobs are likely to be created?  Where?  When?

I hope that you will find inspiration in one of my favorite poems by John Donne:

Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend’s
Or of thine own were:
Any man’s death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee. 

Q.  I was on the receiving end of a tirade of #$^%@ and I wanted to sink through the floor. It was so raw that my colleagues gasped, even though it’s not the first time that Dana has “gone off” on one of us.  What do I do next?

A.  Unfortunately, a tirade impacts everyone in its path.  It isn’t pleasant when the expletives seem like a personal attack and I can appreciate your desire to sink into the floor.  However, I wonder:

• What is Dana’s reputation:  Respected? Feared? Tolerated?
• What is your relationship to Dana?  Peer? or Junior?
• Are you responsible for providing a work product to Dana?  Is there a gap in expectations?  Have you had a conversation to close the gap?

Here is an important tip: You mentioned that Dana has “gone off” on other members of your group. You know that the tirades are not the first time or the last time the behavior will occur. Frankly, the awful truth is that you and your colleagues have tolerated the behavior. I wonder, are Dana’s tirades predicable?  Now is the time to be curious—and perceptive.  Have you noticed a pattern? If you are perceptive, you may be able to anticipate when a storm is brewing and address Dana’s concerns before they bubble over or explode.

Remember:  If there is a predicable pattern of behavior, don’t pretend by feigning surprise. By all means, you don’t have to be a victim. Communication is always the key.