#$^%@! Why me?

Yelled atQ.  I was on the receiving end of a tirade of #$^%@ and I wanted to sink through the floor. It was so raw that my colleagues gasped, even though it’s not the first time that Dana has “gone off” on one of us.  What do I do next?

A.  Unfortunately, a tirade impacts everyone in its path.  It isn’t pleasant when the expletives seem like a personal attack and I can appreciate your desire to sink into the floor.  However, I wonder:

  • What is Dana’s reputation:  Respected? Feared? Tolerated?
  • What is your relationship to Dana?  Peer? or Junior?
  • Are you responsible for providing a work product to Dana?  Is there a gap in expectations?  Have you had a conversation to close the gap?

Here is an important tip: You mentioned that Dana has “gone off” on other members of your group. You know that the tirades are not the first time or the last time the behavior will occur. Frankly, the awful truth is that you and your colleagues Tiradehave tolerated the behavior. I wonder, are Dana’s tirades predicable?  Now is the time to be curious—and perceptive.  Have you noticed a pattern? If you are perceptive, you may be able to anticipate when a storm is brewing and address Dana’s concerns before they bubble over or explode.

Remember:  If there is a predicable pattern of behavior, don’t pretend by feigning surprise. By all means, you don’t have to be a victim. Communication is always the key.

 

 

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