Humiliated– Now What?

You're firedQ: I got fired.  Twenty years on the job and then in less than one week—out the door.  My whole group got fired. I am so ashamed.   What should I do?

A:  Wait a minute:  it sounds like you were laid off or downsized along with the rest of your group/department.  It seems that you weren’t the target of the action; you were sweep up in a business response to overall performance.   In other words, the decision was not personally directed at you.  Go back and determine:

    • What happened exactly the day you lost your job?
    • Did your manager call you in and say:  “You are fired!”?
    • Or, did you manager say that the company was restructuring, reorganizing, or downsizing?
    • Did you turn down an offer from your manager to move geographically? Or to accept a lateral appointment?  [Note:  if yes, why? Out of anger?]

Because you feel ashamed, you may not be seeing things clearly. Give yourself some space and, please, please stop blaming yourself for the loss of your job.  Now check your emotions: Feeling ashamed can be toxic and send you into a downward spiral.   Ask yourself:

    • Am I responsible for losing my job?
    • Am I responsible for the current condition of the company that led to the decision to eliminate my group?
    • Did you have a “feeling” that this would happen?  Did you ignore the signals?  [Note:  If yes, stop beating yourself up by Monday Morning quarter backing]

Remember to be accurate about the circumstances of your job loss and don’t tell friends and colleagues that you were fired, because it probably isn’t true.  DownsizedAnd, above all, be kind to yourself and create a space to bring positive energy and action to craft the next chapter of your life.

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