Question: Do your friends really know you? Do they listen to you?
Answer: We have all heard the blah, blah, blah that 500+ people in your social network doesn’t translate to the real world and that it is critical to cultivate a handful of real friends who really know you. At 3:02PM EST, April 15, 2013, I was surprised.
I was conducting a coaching call that began at 3:00 when call waiting appeared not once but several times within three minutes, all with different telephone numbers. Not wanting to interrupt the client, I glanced at the telephone numbers and recognized them all: Katye from Indianapolis, Kathleen from Las Vegas and then Joyce from Newport Beach all calling within seconds of each other. Finally, I placed my client on hold, answered, and was met by a rush of words: “You are safe—I was so worried. I thought that you were at the finish line.” “What are you talking about?” I asked. “Don’t you know?” No, I didn’t know. And, I didn’t know that my friends across the country knew me so well.
For over 25 years I have been at the Boston Marathon Finish Line. I wait until the male and female winners cross the finish line, then I cycle from Heartbreak Hill. When I arrive on Boylston Street, the prime spectator seating has thinned and the real Marathon fans replace the dignitaries in the previously reserved and now free area. By around 3:00PM I have claimed a free seat in the bleachers—close to the street so that I can watch my bicycle
The first bomb exploded at 2:50 EST.
Why am I telling you this story? I was surprised that although I had never talked in detail about the Boston Marathon, my friends had been listening. How well do your friends know and listen to you? Consider:
- When you are not with your friends, do they know about the activities and interests you enjoy that differ from their interests?
- What are the “blind spots” in your relationship?
- When issues/concerns arise in your conversation with friends what do you do? Change the subject? Ask questions?
- Are you comfortable disclosing information about your personal life?
Given my love of the Marathon, why did I schedule a coaching call at 3PM? By doing so, I was breaking my “don’t work on holidays” rule. I had a “gut” feeling and broke my no 
work rule. Beyond that I don’t have an answer and now I no longer wonder why I made that decision. Today, I am thankful –and my friends are, too—that I did. Boston Strong.