From Meltdown to Mastery

DevastedQ:  I am devastated.  I was supposed to be recognized at the Chairman’s event for leading a breakthrough project when the agenda changed at the last minute and I was bumped off the program.  I worked my butt off for nine months only to become a line in the annual report.  I can’t believe this happened. Now what?

A. Ouch!  It sounds like the rug was pulled out from under your feet.  In other words, the expectations that you had—being recognized at the Chairman’s event—were not realized.  You probably had a fixed picture in your mind:  being publicly recognized by your colleagues and senior leaders, and it didn’t happen.

However, are you devastated or disappointed?   Here is the definition of devastateto cause (someone) severe and overwhelming shock or grief;  shatter, shock, stun, daze, dumbfound, traumatize, crush, overwhelm 

Take a deep breath and consider the following questions:

  • Was there a pressing event that caused a change in the agenda?
  • Why was this event so important to you?
  • What was your expectation?  Why did you work so hard on this project?Exp_reality
  • What is the special meaning/significance that this project has to your career?  Your brand?  Your identity?
  • Are you shattered? Crushed? Traumatized?  If you are not, how do you feel?

Now reframe—are you disappointed or devastated?  Disappointed is defined as:  the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

Note the word expectation.  I know that when I pour my heart and soul into a project and circumstances result in a different ending that what I expected, it causes a meltdown.  It seems as if every previous disappointment comes back in full force.  The hurt and emotions spill out.

Now is the time to rethink why the public recognition was so important and where to go from here.  Getting bumped from the agenda is not “personal” or aimed at you—it is more accurate to say: I expected to present at the Chairman’s event and my expectation was not fulfilled.  I am disappointed, not shattered.

Now give yourself a break and describe the situation as is—without blaming yourself or others.

My final advice and it may sound really corny but I can assure you that it works.  Click on this link and Let It GoFrozen-Elsa

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