Q. My co-worker blows by facts, data and logic by saying, “Well, I don’t see it that way,” and then she proceeds to hold fast to her point of view. What the heck, it seems to me that this is a politically correct put down? Am I right?
A. I don’t think that this is a situation of your being right or wrong. Let’s stick with your idea of “political correctness.” It sounds like your colleague brings the conversation to an abrupt halt by being sweet or nice. However, don’t get distracted and end up in Candy Crush saga. Your task is to ask:
- Well, how do you see it?
- How does your view get us to the results? Goal? Or move the process/plan forward?
You may think that her actions are PC. However, the response may be a cover for passive aggressiveness or even worst manipulation. All are disagreeable and potentially destructive behaviors and I will admit that if you allow yourself to be manipulated it will “feel” personal.
Here is another tip: Don’t get angry, get out in front and by all means don’t let her off the hook. You don’t have to be confrontational; but I suspect that you’ve retreated into silence—disbelief has caused you to be mute.
Get your voice back by asking yourself:
- Am I threatened or afraid of this person?
- Will speaking up or calling her on her “game/pattern” create a career problem (short or long term)?
- Am I the only one she responds to in this manner? If yes, ask – what am I doing that invites her to talk to me in this manner? If others get the same response, band together and have tangible results about the effect of her remarks (e.g., morale, delays, customer defections etc.)
Remember: We rarely achieve 100% agreement before taking action. Carve out your 
area of influence/impact, align your key stakeholders and stay focused.