Q: It could be cancer! I am scheduled for a biopsy next week and I feel as if my life has hit a wall: I am 28, never even had surgery. I was healthy last week and now I am bracing myself for bad news. This sucks!
A. You are absolutely correct—having your life turned upside down by a frightening diagnostic procedure sucks! And if you are coming to grips with the situation and don’t have complete information, you probably don’t want the whole world to know what is happening. You can keep quiet about your situation, but your close friends and family are likely to suspect that something is going on with you. And, frankly it’s never a good idea to avoid a conversation by avoiding friends and family. It’s also not smart to leave work with vague or lame excuses when you are going to a doctor’s appointment. The challenge is finding the right approach that keeps your relationships intact while balancing your personal privacy and your decision on what to disclose and when:
Here are a few questions:
- In casual conversation, have you expressed concern that “something isn’t right”?
- Have there been visual clues such as a pained facial expression or a limp?
- Have there been signals to your friends/family leading up to this diagnostic test? Have you been out of the office? Curtailed social activities? Stopped working out?
If the answer to any of the above is “yes,” it is likely that your news will not take your friends completely by surprise. So you have a decision to make: how much to tell them and when. Consider the following:
- How will you manage their reaction to what you have to say? Note: don’t say “I’m OK” or “Don’t worry.” Tell the truth.
- How can your family and friends be supportive? If you are single, don’t be stoic. Don’t wait alone for a medical procedure or for test results. Ask a close friend or family member to accompany you to doctor’s office. Ask them to write down what the doctor says.
- Remember that it is OK to ask your close circle to maintain your confidentiality and allow you to share the information when and how you choose.
Finally, do you believe that there is a lesson to be learned in everything that happens to you? I do and I am not talking about positive thinking. I invite you to see your situation from another perspective. How? It’s easy. What advice would you give to family or friends if they said, “My life sucks—I may have cancer”?
Please know that I am sending positive energy to you for a healthy and vibrant future.