Question: My coach said that it seems that I already have made up my mind, I just want to hear what she has to say. Isn’t it OK to look to her for advice?
Answer: Coaching and advising are as different as apples and oranges. Consultants provide advice and a good coach guides your professional development by asking pointed questions. Your coach has probably noticed that you are asking questions that come from a preconceived mindset or a fixed point of view—a fancy way of saying: you seem to have decided your course of action. Coaches are good at sniffing out closed options. So, if you already have the answer and are shopping around for advice, doesn’t waste your time or your money.
However, if you want to open up to new possibilities here are a few questions to consider
- Are you merely thinking about doing something or are you “thinking” about it?
- Is it clear in your head and not on paper?
- Are you shopping for different advice because you don’t agree with or like the feedback and answers you are getting elsewhere?
- Are you open to new ideas and willing to change?
- Have you already decided—made up your mind—that “nothing you do will get you where you want to go”?
- Be brutally honest and write down all of the obstacles you have decided will keep you from your goal.
- Describe the exceptions—who has made it despite the “obstacles”?
I find that clients new to coaching may have the mindset of listening for tips or advice instead of doing the hard work of finding the answers inside. Remember that the coach is on the sidelines when you are in the game. Coaching is a process of discovery. Beware the coach that is an eternal font of advice, tips and answers.