Q: My new boss tells me that I need to open up. Really? I prefer to keep my personal life private and don’t usually share details about my home life with people I don’t know well.
A: Yes, you should listen, act and thank you manager for the feedback. Why? The lines between personal and professional lives blur when you move into more senior roles. And being open is the key to success, especially if you are in a client-facing role such as sales, development/advancement, regional manager, private banking or community outreach. Bottom line: openness, transparency, authenticity and likeability are no longer optional traits.
Being open doesn’t mean telling strangers your deep dark secrets—please keep them to yourself. Simply put, “open” is how people should feel and what they should say after they interact with you. The opposite feelings that you can leave people with is that you are reserved, cautious, defensive, arrogant or aloof. What impression do you make?
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Did you ask your new manager for specific feedback? What exactly does being open mean to your manager? Note: Don’t assume that you know… if you haven’t asked, you don’t know.
- Is there a legitimate reason that your private life is separate? Are you hiding something? Alcoholism, gambling addiction, serious illness (yourself or another) or the feeling that you are in over your head at work? Note: Hiding doesn’t work. It isn’t a sustainable strategy—seek the appropriate help.
- Do you give one-word answers or ignore questions that you consider personal? If yes, how do others respond?
- Do you have an elevator speech prepared to answer everyday questions? What did you do this weekend? What are your vacation plans? How is the family?
- What do you say to get another person to talk? To open up? Note: When they open up to you, do you open up in return?
It’s time to take down the wall between work life and personal life. Follow the example of 
Millennials; they don’t draw a hard line between their private and professional lives. Their work is not separate from their “real” life. Without those boundaries, oh the places you can go!