Q: I thought I had my boss’s support to temporarily coach my daughter’s soccer team. I was surprised when I got asked, “Do you want to get promoted this year?” When do Dads get a break?
A: It sounds as if you may have a snafu in your communications with your boss regarding how you were going to use your time. You can create your own “break” by having the following conversation with your boss:
- How did you define “temporary”? One week, one month, one season? If the terms are not clear, define them. Note: Coaching for a season is not a “temporary” assignment.
- Are you following through on the steps your manager advised for you to be promoted this year? What is missing? What are you going to do to get back on track?
Now, here are a few tough questions:
- Have you changed your mind about being promoted this year? Is the timing off?
- Do you feel like you are in a forced choice: either family or work?
- Will being promoted this year have a negative impact on how you want to be a “dad”?
Take a close look and determine if you are in an either “I disappoint my daughter or disappoint my boss” situation. When you break the either/or pattern, I am certain that you will discover the appropriate next step.