Q: What a Valentines Day! I have a gorgeous engagement ring and I am so happy. Here’s the problem: we work together and have kept it a secret. Do I wear the ring or not?
A: Congratulations! Mazel Tov! Proust! Felicitaciones! बधाई हो
This is the first time that I have been asked this question! Here are a few questions to consider:
- Are you absolutely certain that your relationship is a “secret”? Note, most colleagues are polite and respect your privacy—so if you didn’t bring it up –neither would they, but they may have picked up the clues.
- What are the formal company guidelines about dating colleagues?
- What are the “informal” or “cultural” practices?
- Have you crossed formal/informal boundaries? Are you breaking any rules?
- What is the professional future you and your fiancé have planned?
- What do you think you should do: wear the ring? Or not?
Although I don’t have an answer for you from previous experience, I do know that (1) You– the client– almost always have the answer; and (2) in the 24x7x365 world, secrets are almost impossible to keep. You can gather data and input from others but I trust that together you will make the right decision.